Wonderfully Made is dedicated to encouraging women and their families along their journeys of faith, motherhood, marriage, and special needs. We believe wholeheartedly that you, your precious children, and your own unique journeys are wonderfully made by God and look forward to walking the journey with you. "You formed my inmost being; You knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise You, because I am wonderfully made." {Psalm 139}

31 Days: A Six-Year-Old Soul

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{This post is a continuation of the series: 31 Days of Honoring Your Soul. To read from the beginning, please click here.}

…I took a deep breath, blinked the tears away, rolled up my yoga mat, and collected my things.

Don’t cry in public. Don’t cry in public, I thought.

31 Days of Honoring Your Soul, He said.

Arrow flourish

I was six-years-old when I heard tires screeching in our driveway. My dad had just taken off in his red pickup truck and I could hear my mom’s high heels clicking as she made her way down the hall toward my room.

I knew from memory the number of steps it would take before she reached my door, so I sat there waiting, counting steps.

“Are you and daddy getting divorced?” I asked when she arrived. I don’t remember where I learned that word or how I knew what it meant, but I do remember knowing something was wrong. That the distance between my parents was louder than the screeching tires in our driveway.

“No, honey,” she stiffened. “What makes you think that?”

Arrow flourish

Each of us has a history, a past that uniquely shapes our present. But what about our souls? Are they constant or do they change with the events of our lives? Does the soul of the six-year-old girl waiting to ask mommy if daddy is coming back live in me still?

Oh, Father, this isn’t going to be easy.

31 Days of Honoring Your Soul: Begin

31 Days of Honoring Your Soul

As I wrote recently in this post, I hit a dry spell this summer. I would sit at my computer, fingers poised over the keyboard, hoping the words would come, but they didn’t.

Writing for me is a creative process, but a deeply spiritual one as well. I have tried separating the two, but as soon as I try to make a Pinterest-friendly post or write to the audience I think I should be writing to, He says, No, that is not the plan for you.

But when weeks turned into months this summer with no inspiration to write, and, thinking I had waited long enough to hear the plan, I asked So what is the plan, Lord?

WaitWait for Me, and you’ll see, He said.

Frustrated, I waited.

I waited until a few weeks ago when I found myself lying with my eyes closed at the end of yoga class trying not to cry in public.

The yoga instructor had said these words: “Take this moment to appreciate and honor your soul.”

And that is where these 31 days begin.

Father, You tell us: “I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” {Isaiah 43:19} I do not perceive it, Lord. But I know You will make a way in the wilderness. I know that just as You make all things new in Christ, you too can make all things new in me. Help me begin.

Where do I begin?

For weeks I’ve been wondering where to start. Where to pick up and begin in this space again. It’s hard when you haven’t written in a long time. When you realize you’ve let the crickets chirp too long in a space you promised you’d never let grow quiet.

I’ve sat down several times to write, but each time I sat in front of my computer I thought, But where do I begin?

Then I remembered: this is not a place of perfection, this is a place of poetry. A place where my heart can connect with yours and yours with mine, and ours with His.

So let’s begin again. Here. Now.

My boy is in kindergarten. My boy who has challenged me and softened me and made me dig deep within myself to discover who I truly am.

This. Boy.

Let's begin again here, now.

This boy who swings higher, jumps farther, runs harder, and giggles brighter than any child I’ve ever known.

Whose spirit alights when he holds a new book in his hands. When he masters a difficult route on the climbing wall. When he makes a new friend.

This boy.

This boy who now walks the halls of a K-12 school with a “Jack-pack” on his back and tells me “Oh mommy, can you please not pick me up after lunch because I want to stay longer.”

He was so thrilled when he found out he could stay longer.

This boy who still holds my hand and tells me I’m silly and wants to watch our shadows grow tall as we walk side by side in the setting sun’s light.

This boy.

 Arrow flourish

My girl is in preschool, making new friends and enjoying the independence this new stage brings.

This. Girl.

This girl who stands strong by her big brother’s side through times of both joy and anger, victory and defeat. Who sees him in such a way that makes me feel, no, makes me know that he will be ok. That he will build lasting friendships because she has taught him what a true friend is.

This girl who is sassy but soft, vibrant but shy.

Let's begin again here, now

This girl who loves chocolate and popcorn, family and music, laughter and dancing.

This little love who frolics with ladybug wings and says, “Mommy, you’re beautiful.”

This little one who feels deeply, loves fiercely, and lives confidently. Who sees the world through the eyes of an old-soul. Who understands well beyond her years. Who makes me laugh and cry and see that for every dark moment there a dozen bright ones just waiting to outshine it.

This girl.

Arrow flourish

And oh, this baby. This baby who is crawling and laughing, standing and babbling.

Let's begin again here, now

This koala bear snuggle bug baby who nestles in my arms and makes me never want to let him go.

This gentle soul who brings calm to our clan of bold personalities.

Who delights in the journey, wherever it may lead and reminds me that new joy dawns each day. And that God has His hand in it all.

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