Two Sundays ago, I walked into our family room and told Jeff I was feeling nauseous. I grabbed a ginger ale from the fridge, sat on the couch, and began sipping slowly while Jeff and Jack played and Kristen snoozed peacefully in her room.
A few minutes later, I went back to our bedroom, laid down, turned on Netflix, and my water broke! Though this was my third baby, both Jack and Kristen were emergency c-sections delivered well before their due dates, so I had never gone into labor or had the experience of my water breaking and was totally surprised! In truth, I had prayed to have that experience. I really wanted to know what it was like, so it was really neat that it actually happened :)
When I realized it was the real deal and our baby boy would be arriving soon, I called my doctor, told Jeff what had happened and then ran to the shower where I hung out while he got us packed for the hospital and we waited for a friend to arrive to watch the kids. The whole thing really was hilarious, every time I would try to leave the shower to help Jeff pack, I’d have another contraction, which brought another wave of fluid along – sorry for the fellas reading this. Ladies, you’ll understand ;) So, when our friend arrived, we grabbed a stack of towels and off to the hospital we went!
We arrived around 8:30pm and at 10:32pm, our baby boy was born! The whole procedure went so well. In fact, the entire surgery lasted only 30 minutes from front to back. It was amazing! The atmosphere was calm and controlled, and I felt so safe. There were so many special moments I felt I was able to fully enjoy with Connor’s birth because while my water breaking made it more urgent to get to the hospital, it wasn’t an emergency. So everything was much calmer than my previous deliveries.
I will never forget his booming cry when he was brought into the world and the soft silence that followed when he was brought to me right away so I could hold and kiss him. I’ll never forget how Jeff was given the experience of cutting the cord for the first time or when we were all brought to a calm space right after surgery where Connor and I were able to lay skin-to-skin and nurse for the first time.
The whole experience was so special. And the next day, Connor slept, which meant I got to watch the rise and fall of his little chest, listen to the soft, sweet sounds that only a newborn can make, and to rest too, which was such a gift.
And he has surprised me and filled me up in such a profound way. For much of my pregnancy, I was sick, juggling dozens of monthly appointments for our family and, if I’m being honest, worried about how a new baby would affect our family balance. But he has changed everything for the better. He has awed me by his gentle, calm, and peaceful nature; his ability to sleep through anything – and I mean anything; and he has made me fall in love with my family and being a mom again. Because I had been in a dry spell. I felt sort of lost as a mom, wondering about my purpose, trying to figure out where I really fit in the world of motherhood.
Connor rekindled my passion for motherhood. He has made me see that sometimes we have to be brave and trust that all will be well. That God hears all the longings of our hearts and bears each in mind as He brings us down a new path. He’s made me see the tremendous progress Jack has made. Because, friends, I don’t yet have words to describe just how incredible he’s been. When I find the words, I will dedicate a post to the subject because he’s made me so proud. He also has made me see that Kristen, while very mature for her age, is a two-year-old and needs to be given the space and grace to be two. To throw a tantrum every now and then and to process what it means to become a big sister, while also being applauded for being such a loving one. He has made me see anew just how much my husband loves our family and how he always goes the extra mile to support both my and our children’s needs.
Connor really is the piece that was missing in our family puzzle. He has deepened our love, made us see things in one another we might not otherwise have seen, and brought us even closer together than we were before.
He is a true gift and our family is so blessed by him. Welcome, Connor. You are so loved!